Several women testify that they have had repeated abortions to have children of their desired sex. In closed Facebook groups, women share their experiences of how they rejected fetuses that don’t match their dream image.

Sofia had three sons when she became pregnant for the fourth time. With the help of a so-called NIPT test, she received information about the fetus’s sex as early as week ten. The answer crushed her.

— It was a boy and my whole world fell apart, says Sofia, who chose to remain anonymous, to Sweden’s public broadcaster SVT News.

Together with her husband, she had already made the decision: if it was another boy, they would terminate the pregnancy. The dream of having a daughter was so strong that it took over everything else.

— It was right. I knew I wouldn’t be whole otherwise, says Sofia.

— It hurts so much when others have girls. This is so strong that it overrides everything else, she continues.

Had two abortions – then went abroad

Sofia underwent a total of two abortions before she and her husband finally chose another path. They went abroad for IVF treatment with sex selection – something that is not permitted in Sweden except in exceptional cases involving hereditary diseases.

— If it had been legal in Sweden, it wouldn’t have had to go this far, she claims.

Sven-Eric Söder, chairman of Sweden’s National Council on Medical Ethics, is clear about where the line is drawn according to Swedish legislation.

— There is a possibility if parents carry a hereditary disease. We have legislation, and I think it is ethically correct that we don’t choose characteristics of our children, he says.

Facebook groups reveal the extent

Sofia is far from alone. In closed Facebook groups that focus on sex selection, women openly share their experiences of sex-selective abortions and testify to an extremely strong desire to have a daughter.

“Unfortunately got the answer at the beginning of the week that it was a boy (have two from before). Even before the answer came, my partner and I agreed that we would have an abortion if that was the case. So today I had a surgical abortion, was at week 12+0. Feel so guilty toward the little baby in my belly…” writes one woman.

Another tells: “I’m also not good at lying, but I have had an abortion because I was expecting a boy and called it a miscarriage to those around me”.

“I have had an abortion for the same reason as you… However, it’s so tough and I can still feel anxiety toward the fetus in hindsight”, reads another post.

According to current Swedish abortion legislation, women have the right to free abortion until the end of pregnancy week 18. The woman does not need to state any reason for the abortion. After week 18, permission from the National Board of Health and Welfare (Socialstyrelsen) is required, which is only granted if there are special circumstances.